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foggy days
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Date:2006-03-13 17:27
Subject:Obladi Oblada
Security:Public

Tests, Tests, Testsss, papers!
I think I might be one of those people who is doomed to a career in academia whether they like it or not. If this is the case, I hope it's something Englishy. No, no I will resist academia at all costs. AT ALL COSTS. Excepting of course studying like a maniac and accumulating degrees. Except that. Doomed.

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Date:2006-02-19 21:29
Subject:Life = Bad Clamation
Security:Public

I watched that movie "Serenity" last night at B's. It was actually pretty good. A reference to the Rime of the Ancient Mariner and everything. Then we had this really awesome conversation about how stupid and bizarre and confusing life in general is. It's just good to be confused with someone. I'm glad there's someone else who has absolutely NO IDEA what they want out of life. This is the crowning moment of the night, and I quote from my lovely B:

"I had this really cool idea of brain controlling cockroaches in my head, but then it was just..... bad clamation."

I had to get up at a psycho hour this morning because my calling is to print up the programs for church each week and all the roads where icy as crap (and we all know how icy crap is) so I had to go like 30mph on the freeway. Also, I almost hit a parked car. Yeeha.

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Date:2006-02-09 12:59
Subject:Deluge
Security:Public

I wish.

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Date:2006-02-01 17:01
Subject::)
Security:Public

There's this French girl in my complex with an abundance of black jackets and purple scarves. It makes me really happy, she's like a cartoon.

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Date:2006-01-30 15:02
Subject:!
Security:Public

!!!!!!!!!!!!!PAPERSPAPERSEVERYWHEREILOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Date:2006-01-22 12:13
Subject:My oddball little musings
Security:Public

Okay so obviously how we're raised affects who we are as individuals. But do we unconsciously model ourselves after societal rules that were constructed before we were born and will last after we die, just so we can fill in a little niche that keeps the machine working? To be replaced when we die? How much does THAT suck?! I guess at least we can pick which niche it is we'll fit into. Thinking about this kind of stuff always freaks me out, like my entire life has been predetermined or something. And no matter what I do, it's still very much predetermined. Even "free spirits" are just fitting in a little niche. And no one is ever really their own thing because otherwise they wouldn't connect at so many of the levels that are necessary for survival. Maybe homeless people have it all right. But then there you go with them having their own little grouping and proper whatevers. Maybe. Maybe I should hang out with homeless people more, make myself feel more in control? Or see that they are at least. Or that they're crazy. Maybe crazy people are the only ones who are free enough to lead their own lives.

B and I are "official" now. I love the little caps he wears, it's adorable. I am so behind in my reading I'm gonna go nuts. Oh well.

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Date:2006-01-18 16:15
Subject:GAR!
Security:Public

I think I've got my schedule figured out for this semester. I really want to graduate like NOW, but am going to force myself to take certain classes I know I would be sorry if I didn't. GAR! Still haven't seen that girl ride her unicycle. What good is she then? What good is she?

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Date:2006-01-14 20:04
Subject:HUZZAH!!!
Security:Public

I am slowly melting into a hermit. That is all.

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Date:2006-01-09 22:50
Subject:Dark Scary Scary Dark
Security:Public

I bull dozed all my stuff into my new room. Fun stuff. My schedule is still up in the air, but that'll get taken care of. I got one new roomate and all i know is that they ride the unicycle. Which could mean they are very very entertaining, or VERY scary.

So I was wondering why people seem to be inherently afraid of the darkness? Is it because we don't trust what we can't see? Do we think something is hiding in the dark? Is it an inherited instinct to keep us safe from carnivores like mountain lions? Or is it more spiritual, do we sense some evil lurking in the absence of light, like we are making unconscious metaphors of truth and confusion?

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Date:2006-01-06 22:27
Subject:ahem.
Security:Public

babiesbabiesbabies imadethemoutofclay babiesbabiesbabiesthat'sallihavetosay

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Date:2006-01-06 00:53
Subject:rambling about marriage
Security:Public

I tell myself I like to analyze things but in actuality am just so stupid I have to sit and stew on simple concepts normal people automatically understand.

I go to school in Utah, and it is obviously very marriage-centered. So I'm sitting here thinking about marriage and its significance. Basically what I get is it's 2 people taken together who like, and maybe even love each other. They probably would want to make kids who are 1/2 each other. They want stability, safety, trust, security, support, understanding, independence, dependence, to need and be needed, to get along, go in the same direction, creation, comfort, protection, esteem and commitment.
Since Latter-Day Saints believe in marriage for eternity, it all feels accentuated. This list seems very heavy and undoable.

I didn't come here specifically to get married, but to be in an environment where the majority thinks and believes the things that I do for a change (of course I'm also one of those idiots who ends up alienating themselves no matter the situation). Any guy I've dated thus far I've ruled out when it gets to the point I feel I've got a pretty good conjecture of what they would be like to be married to. I thought I'd eventually arrive at a weird but relevant question but I guess I didn't. Oh well. G'night.

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Date:2006-01-01 20:31
Subject:new years
Security:Public

B took me to "First Night" in downtown Salt Lake. It was pretty cool, lots of things to watch. There were ten year olds doing covers of ACDC which was cute but kind of scary too. When a chubby little girl started singing James Brown, we backed cautiously away. There were comedy groups and break dancers and real bands too. There was this weird Scottish sword dance I hadn't seen before, but it was my fav. About it. Yep.

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Date:2005-12-31 02:43
Subject:holidays
Security:Public

I wonder why we decorate for the holidays. Are we trying to create some sort of alternate reality? Are we trying to escape from the mundanity of every other day? Or are we desperately trying to attach some sort of significance to the passage of time to prove that we do in fact exist? Oooohhh look how deep I am, I get a sticker!

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